Unconscious Mutterings No. 5

food: network

storm: warning

install:software

report: snitch

dream: recurring

analysis: avoidance

redirect: conversation

weather: changing

78: record

protect: myself

1. I’ve been a fan of cooking shows since the days of Julia Child, Yan Can Cook, The Frugal Gourmet, Graham Kerr’s Kitchen, etc. Food Network is nothing news, it just found a way to turn serious educational television into pop culture food porn.

2. If the perfect storm ever does arrive, I will be the one who has to bend over and kiss it goodbye because I don’t take all the hype about storm warnings and the weather in general as seriously as I probably should.

3. Why does it take an army of engineers to update my anti-virus software?

4. If I were in charge at work, the first thing I’d put an end to is the whiney tattletaling that pervades our office.

5. The two recurring dreams I have are that I’m walking down the street naked and don’t know it until someone points it out, or something happens and my teeth fall out. Both are signs of insecurity.

6. One thing I’ll never forget about my sister’s wedding was the attempt at psychoanalysis my mom’s marriage counselor cousin threw down on me and Bill when we’d only been married nine months.

7. One of the hardest things to get me to do is reign myself in when I get a wild hair about something. Once I’m wound up, I’m like a junkyard dog with a bone so good luck with changing the subject and redirecting my anger/passion/whatever.

8. I feel like someone has stabbed me in the left cheekbone with an ice pick? Did I mention I hate weather changes?

9. Yeah I’m showing my age with this one. Can’t deny I’m getting older but it’s better than the alternative.

10. My husband is the only one I know who can protect me from myself, which is a full time job unto itself, believe me.

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