Too Much Information

Author’s Note: I really wish I had the guts to post this on the bulletin board in our hallway, but I just don’t dare!

Dear Neighbor:

It’s bad enough your pot smoke permeates my apartment on a nearly daily basis, but now you’re leaving condom wrappers all over the parking lot? I suppose I should be grateful it’s not used condoms you’re trailing behind you on your walk of shame. Don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly a prude. I say “go for it” as long as what you’re doing is safe and legal. I just don’t need to know about your sexual prowess. Something makes me think you’re bragging by using Trojan extra large condoms anyway, but even if you’re not, I don’t need to know about the size of your man bits. Surely you have a trash can in you apartment in which you can dispose of these materials, and if you’re having sex in your car, might I suggest using the cup holder for any such leftovers in the future? There is such a thing as the right to privacy — yours would benefit from cleaning up after yourself.Or perhaps you’d like me to leave my bra and panties hanging from my car window the next time I’ve had a bit of fun? The choice is yours.

Sincerely,

Your neighbor in too much information

4 thoughts on “Too Much Information

  1. Or that you don’t live in an area with five colleges in an apartment that’s 2/3 college kids:) Yeah this was snarky but seriously, it’s getting on my last nerve.

    • Good point, maybe that’s not a good strategy;) Yeah the past year or so our upstairs neighbors have left a bit to be desired, whether through noisy kids or pot smoking sex fiends LOL. We’re just saving up for a down payment on a home and then I don’t think we’ll have any issues with saying goodbye.

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